Walin Ahmed

I removed you from my thoughts. I lived all this time without you, and I managed to thrive. You certainly were a spark in my fireworks. I went up. Do I want to explode now? What's the beauty in fireworks if they don't burst out with fire and colors? Maybe I'll explode into oblivion someday. Anyway, I derailed. I have some specific targets and goals in life. They make my life meaningful as a nihilist. Whether I’m able to accomplish them is not a concern of mine, but I'll do whatever I can till my last breath. I have to stay alive somehow. Is it too much? Sometimes, yes. Mostly, no. A speeding vehicle is more prone to accidents during a lane switch than a slower one. I carry too much and too many things now. I can't allow a haphazard turn. I remember quite vividly the lines from Edgar Allan Poe's poem Alone :  And all I loved, I loved alone. Yes, indeed, I’m alone. And that too is by choice. Psychologists will diagnose me with some fancy disorder, I know. But mine...

No one deserves anything in life. Deserving is a concept invented by the weak. Right and wrong is a concept of the weak. When they can't have something, they tag it with arbitrary restrictions or rationales. Doing what one deems one should do, whatever the way, is what matters. Nothing matters, nonetheless. So why bother with artificial labels? Then, what should I bother myself with? What should I do? Remove the ‘should’ first? ‘What do I do?’ Or ‘What I do’. The question becomes the answer. I need no explanation nor any justification. Whom do I justify? Who is my authority other than myself? And if I'm doing something solely on my own will, is that not an act of ‘myself’? Isn't it a self-evident and self-sufficient cause for the act? Why bother for a cause? Non-living things may need justification. Non-living fictions that we humans have created e.g. money, society, well-being, love, education, economy etc, for they rely on our imagination. They require justification. On t...